The Balm: Voice.
“Effective communication is the best way to solve problems.”-Bradford Winters, television writer and producer.
We are two months and some weeks before the year ends, and it feels like I have cut a million people off. Well, do not give me the judgey eyes, I have honestly tried to live peaceably with all men, however there are just some attitudinal discharge I have decided not to condone anymore.
I guess this is the part where your interest is piqued and you are wondering what can’t she condone anymore? Well, you’ll hear the full gist, just stay with me till the end. Promise?
The Fire: Voice.
We all have a threshold for everything. I knew mine had exceeded and over-exceeded the moment I sent in the voice note. I have been overly patient with the person she has become — withdrawn, unattentive, unbothered, and silent, and I found it quite disturbing, for someone I was invested in. Long before this time, I pointed out how awkward it had gotten between us. I expressed my fears about who we were becoming but as usual, she laughed it off, then walked to the kitchen to offer me food.
Days rolled into weeks, weeks into months, and there was no single text from her. When I finally showed up at her door to offer my service to her sis, there was this air around us that indicated that it wasn’t going to be the same again.
Asides the fact that we both now walked on egg shells, it became unnecessary to update each other about anything. So, I got home, sent the voice note and wrapped up 5 years of friendship in 6 minutes.
The Pain: Voice.
I picked up my phone hoping to receive a text from him, I saw nothing. Nothing from him, not even a missed a call. I just knew I have been enabling his bad behaviour. My instincts tells me he does it deliberately.
Even after pouring out how I felt about us. He chose to let his ego blind him. You know, this has become his routine, ghosting me for weeks and coming back weeks later with the expectation that the energy will be reciprocated from where we left off. Countless times, I had created the excuse of how busy he was. I’d even forgotten the number of texts he read and never responded to. Should I talk about the calls? The missed calls he saw but chose not to return? I guess I shouldn’t.
Whenever it happens, I talk myself into acting as the bigger person to do the check up regardless of the fact that I felt like I wasn’t a priority. However, this time, when he didn’t call to apologize for canceling on our plans again, or giving an explanation for ghosting me again! I just knew it was time to shut the door of being in love and stupid.
Voice, The Balm.
To whatever connection or relationship we have with humans, effective communication is paramount. It leaves room for no misunderstanding, doubt, random thoughts, overanalyzing, conflict, damaged relationships, stress (mental and emotional), frustration, and feelings of isolation.
Poor communication can ruin even the best of relationships.
In today’s society, Millenials and Gen Zs think it to be unnecessary to communicate in clear terms on the happenstances within and around them for the fear of God knows what.
Couple of years back, I learnt through books and life experiences on the need to be transparent, and to effectively communicate with the people I hold dearly.
It is wisdom to note that the same way we have different love languages, is the exact way we have different communication patterns for people, and it is only imperative that this gets studied and understood to effectively navigate complexities.
The need for clear-cut communication cannot be expounded on as it has a lot tied to it. From people’s emotions, to trust, thoughts, values, and perspectives on things, the essentiality of interacting and maintaining a strong connection should be intentionally considered.
If there is a matter to thrash, use your voice. If there is a wound to heal, use your voice. If there are apologies to be made, use your voice. Even if it is a complaint, compliment, or whatever, the voice acts as the aider.
It is barbaric to think that you owe no one explanation to things, or acting cool when you are aware of the person’s change in demeanor. And also, assuming that the silence will lessen with time or that buying gifts will erase the wrong deeds, has to be an uncultured behaviour.
Through our voice, we can heal, soothe, and rid ourselves of gathering more strangers than friends.
Choose to apply the balm in all facets of life.
P.s; Do leave a clap or two, and your thoughts just before you leave. It’s your voice to me.😉
